Time in prison is just one of many possible consequences of failing to pay your child support. Recently I came across this on the U.S. Department of State website which states that if you are behind on “child support payments in excess of $2,500, you are ineligible to receive a U.S. passport. If this applies to you, Passport Services strongly recommends that you contact the appropriate State child support enforcement agency to make payment arrangements before applying for a passport.” While I was in a sporting good store recently I witnessed a man being turned down for a hunting license, thanks to a new State mandated computer system that all licensees must adhere to. He was denied the hunting license because he is behind on child support. So you can’t hunt, fish, or even leave the country. It’s also been brought to my attention that the government can withold child support payments from your tax refund! Feel free to leave comments or questions at the end of this article.
In research for this article I interviewed my Aunt, whom was a Child Support Enforcement Officer. Since 1985 she was an Employee of the State of Mississippi but her position is funded by a Federal Program which insures that parents receiving government aid are financially assisted by the state mandated wage garnishment, of the non custodial parent. These were time limited positions for child support enforcement.
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Polybabydadic
The majority of her time was spent in determining paternity. This is how it works. The mother gives a name, or five names (in some cases), and child support enforcement sets off to locate the potential fathers. Once an address is obtained for these men, a letter is sent instructing them to come to the appropriate location for a paternity test. Sometimes married men (or their wives), received these letters. Once in the office the potential father could accept paternal responsibilities. This was a rare occurrence. Normally the potential father would ‘deny’ that he is the father.
DNA Testing
DNA testing used to require the withdrawing of blood, but more recently ‘swabbing‘ has been used. The baby, mother, and potential are all swabbed to obtain a sample of their DNA. The DNA is then sent off to a laboratory and analyzed. The mothers DNA ‘markers’ are noted and then subtracted from the DNA of the baby. The remaining DNA should be a match with the real father.
Once Paternity is established, the father’s wages were assessed. There were guidelines for how much a father will pay. It’s based on a percentage of his income per child. If the father doesn’t have a job then the judge would set the child support based on a minimum wage job, at 40 hours per week.
Divorces
Mississippi passed a law in the 1990′s (which is often ignored) which states that all divorces involving children must have a child support withholding order. A form would then be filled out by a Child Support Enforcement Officer and mailed to the employer of the non custodial parent. This was a wage garnishment form designed to help the government insure that babies in Mississippi are being taken care of. Also, if the custodial parent is on some form of government assistance like Medicaid or Welfare, there is a state law which mandates the withholding order. This one is strictly enforced.
Licenses
Besides not being able to obtain a hunting or fishing license. You could also be denied a Drivers License when you stand in line for one of these. My Aunt relayed a story about a certain lawyer that would never pay his child support. The only way they could get him to pay was to threaten to remove his license to practice law. The Child Support Officer could use the same threats with a medical doctor. The ability to disrupt the lives of the non custodial parent seems to have no boundaries.
What if you leave the state?
Leaving the state won’t help you avoid paying child support. You may prolong it, but you can’t avoid it by skipping the state. Thanks to the Uniform Reciprocal Enforcement and Support Act, your arrest warrant for failure to pay child support follows you anywhere in the United States. For example, one of the arrest warrants my Aunt had issued resulted in a man being arrested in California. He was driving a tractor trailer loaded with produce. Although this was a routine traffic stop, once the man’s license was entered into the police computer, his warrant for failure to pay child support in Mississippi popped up. He was arrested and his employer’s produce sat in the hot California sun, spoiling before making it to market.
How you are tracked
The government tracks its citizens thanks to a few interconnected circumstances. This tracking is made possible by your Social Security Number, which is really how the government sees its citizens. Using your Social Security Number to obtain employment, results in a W-2 being issued to the I.R.S.. Large companies have to report this information every three months. Smaller companies may only report this information at the end of the year. Thanks to the Homeland Security Act, this process most likely alerts them as well. But the end result is that a Child Support Officer knows where you are, and if they’re aggressive, you’ll be arrested.
Time in jail
Time in jail is only pursued if the Child Support Officer has a father or mother who refuses to cooperate. You won’t go to jail if you are trying to pay your child support (actually paying, not just talking about paying). Once the Officer feels that they have wasted enough time trying to get you to pay, they have a warrant issued to bring you before a judge. Sometimes they may just lure you to the court with a subpoena, without mentioning that you’re going to be arrested when you arrive. My Aunt relayed a heart breaking story of having to place a mother in jail who wouldn’t keep a job and pay her child support. Since the split with her previous husband this woman had given birth to another child. Inside the courtroom, the mother was placed in handcuffs and escorted to jail, leaving her one year old behind crying.
Once in jail, you’re stuck there until you get a job. Now I know this sounds crazy, but my Aunt said that you couldn’t leave jail until you could prove that you had a job. Normally family members took care of this obligation for their incarcerated loved ones. The Child Support Officer actually does the legal writing. They have a lawyer at their assistance that really does nothing more than just sign whatever gets placed in front of their face. So your life of freedom is really in the hands of the Child Support Officer.
The squeaky wheel gets the oil
My Aunt said she averaged carrying around 800 ‘cases’ at any one time. Also, she would only make appearances in court once a month. So she would try and accomplish all she could on that day. She made it very obvious, in our conversation, that the custodial parents who were the most assertive with her, took priority over people who compained little. So if your Ex loves the idea of harassing you, expect to hear from the Child Support Enforcement Officer often.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, it’s of no consequence for the female to have you in court as often as she’d like. The judge always makes the man pay the court costs.
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How about deadbeat MOMS? The ex only has to pay $25/week because she refuses to work, and is 7.5 months behind… And yet she goes out to eat all the time (4-5 times a week), has purchased a ton of new clothes, a new laptop and a new smartphone. How is this okay? In 2008-2009, she was only ordered to pay $25/MONTH and wouldn’t, and yet had a new outfit or hairstyle every time she came around. She only gets 4 hrs/week visitation and has seen my son four times so far in 2011. When she was taken to court for nonpayment (of $300 $25/month for a whole year!) she cried her way out of going to jail. Again, how is this fair?! I know hardworking fathers out there who get thrown in jail for missing one or two payments.
Can someone please shed some light on my situation? I am a divorced mother of three who has always taken care of my children by myself with absolutely no help at all from their father due to his in and out of jail. Well, one of my sons has gotten himself in trouble with the law and was placed in a juvenile facility and now I’m being taken to court by DHS for support !!!!!
My husband and I split in October of 2007. Since then he moved 13 hours away. He sees his children twice a year if that and calls sporadically to check on them. As of the time I write this he is $13,050 behind in child support. Now, I am a level headed woman and understand that a man has to survive. When we filed for a divorce the court was mandating that he pay $1200 a month in support for our two children. I knew that he wouldn’t be able to live comfortably paying this a month and insisted that my lawyer add in reasons why I would except a less amount of $800 a month. Since then, he has paid for a month or two and then skipped months at a time. He also is ordered to supply the children with health insurance and he doesn’t. In the papers it says if he doesn’t, then he is responsible for all medical bills they incur. This of course has always come out of my pocket. I am here to take care of my children day in and day out. I keep them clothed and feed without any support or help from his part. I have let this go on thinking he was going to change and do better…and that has not happened. I am finally to the breaking point to where he gives me no choice but to take to a lawyer. He thinks I am a total B, but I and many others I have talked to believe that I am more than reasonable.
it’s just wrong to jail a person for being poor. none of those guys in jail really want to avoid paying child support, but if you make $10.00/hr and you have to pay out 25% it’s easy to get behind on everything. pretty soon you’re living in a shack while the mom has a new mercedes. sure, the kids are dressed in last year’s rags, but she’s got the new ride. then they take your license and with it anything resembling a livlihood. banke robbing starts to look like a realistic option! I think it should be 1/2 year with each parent. it all washes out that way. it’s hard to find a job at 54 and it’s hard to make a living as a self employed person. now i’m in trouble because once upon a time i used to love someone. now she’s making me despise her.
(quoting a poster)
sick says:
April 27, 2011 at 6:16 pm
So my boyfriend owes a ridiculous amount of child support and we recently had our own kid. we fled taxes and they took all the child tax refund money and my daughter got none, even though shes the reason we got it at all. by all means i know the kids deserve the money, but i dont see why if you get cheated on or they flee the state with the child or he isnt on the birth certificate should he have to pay money he doesnt have. before we had our baby we lived in a van tht the police took because child support suspended his licence, then we were doing ok and lived in a motel
—–
Wow….Sick….you really know how to pick a winner for a mate! And you’re surprised YOUR life is in shambles?
To make a long story short, my son is 12 years old, didn’t file for child support until my child was 4 years old, because we were both young and weren’t really established… At any rate I went to court the other day because off and on he will pay about $25.00 dollars a month when his order is actually $641. So like I stated went to court the week before last he didn’t show up, the magistrate ordered that he is a given another week to come to court, so which ment I had to go back to court the next week. Of course he didn’t show up he is $30,00+ in arrears and they put out a warrant for him. I was told he has a $3000 cash bond and the only way that I would recieve the money is if post the bond himself. Not a chance its going to happen as his family owns one of the biggest bail bonds company in my state and they will just bond him out and sign on the bond so that he doesn’t have to pay. He doesn’t have any license has not had any in years and he refuses to file taxes… But they tell me there is nothing that they can do.. So fed up
to purpleburples remark on the deadbeats getting off easy cause all they have to do is pay up not take kids to the doctor, get them ready for school and the like. My ex tried this same argument, to which my response will be the same for as for you. IF YOU REALLY FEEL THAT WAY THAN GIVE UP CUSTODY. you are nothing but a biggot. you assume like all these other biggots in family court around he country that fathers dont want to dothese things. I raised my daughter for 6 years, brought her to the doctors, woke her up in the morning, changed diapers and so on. i didnt choose to give that up. and many other fathers didnt choose to give that up. THE RIGHT TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN WAS TAKEN FROM US ALONG WITH OUR MONEY AND OTHER RIGHTS. So if you think it is so freeking wonderful on the other side, by all means give up the kids and start paying the support! because i would trade places any day and have been submitted to enough ignorant biggotry and insult to last me a life time, and every time i hear some self rightious biggot talking how noncstodial parents have it easy and are just deadbeats who dont want their kids it really drives me crazy.
In NY 1500 dollars behind will cost you your license as well as any other type of state licensing.I was started out with over 3,000 dollars in the arears and lost all licensing the same week the order was drafted, which also cost me my job as i was teaching, and was no longer elligable for a teaching license. after loosing your job and transportation it gets considerably more difficult to keep up on payments let alone pay down arears.
I have a question about child support? I have 2 boys who are 4 and 6. My ex has only had to pay 50 dollars a month for my 2 boys for the last 2 years. and now he has another child who is 1 and has to pay 117 a month? How does this work ? I am glad the child is getting the money but I can not figure this out can they do it differently by county? I know she is making more money then I am and he is unemployed.
All of you who think the system isnt faulty are stupid the system contradicts the constitution for one im not going to get into the specifics look up amen 10,and 13 im a father who was trying to keep peace with my ex so we could try and raise our daughter the best as possible being as both of us are both low class we had an oops no excuses there we knew we were not ready for a kid but cant take it back well we recently split due to not being compatible too many issues just wasnt working well i have been a part of my childs life 100% my ex has lived with me several times within the past year and we are still married i am on unemployment due to just getting out of the armed forces i attend college in two weeks and unemployment stops when school starts well she goes in there i let them know that they say its up to her if she will allow them to base it off min wage or my unemployment she doesnt agree i try to argue my point no compromise then she ask for 4500 back chid support why idk i have been there 100% i argue that i have reciepts from the thousands of dollars i have spent i have 1500 dollars in bills on a 1600 a month not including the 448 she now gets she has no bills what so ever i mean none besides the care of our child im not trying to get out of being in and apart of the financial aspect of my childs life nor the duties i proposed we split everything fifty fifty cause thats fair right half my chromosomes half hers i keep her two weeks out of the month she keeps her evry other week holidays same sh** pretty basic but fair nothing going i dont understand why they cant be fair when a father wants to be in every aspect there is no reason why i shouldnt be able to be there or have to support my ex i support myself i know that its not intended for her but she has no bills and makes enough money to lives more comfortably than me why cant it just be split it im trying to build a future for myself and my daughter but idk if im going to be able to i cant make ends meet now and if i get another job the rates will just go up the system is not fair for the non custodial parent something needs to give
Was enraged, ignore the bad grammmar: Computer Science major, not an English major.
Jeramy i hope you get with a woman for five years, decide to have a kid, then have her decide to suddenly stop taking antidepressants, start drinking heavily and get awarded your child, then get laid off from an 80k a year job and have no one want to rehire you anywhere because your overqualified while your ex finds a new person, then the courts rule that because of your earning potential in fail o fail american economy so your child support doesnt change the system is screwed ex. this is my situation oh my ex is in the hospital so often from alchoholsism + pancreatitis i not only pay ridiculous child support i have custody of them over 50% of the time. then say the system is fine
So my boyfriend owes a ridiculous amount of child support and we recently had our own kid. we fled taxes and they took all the child tax refund money and my daughter got none, even though shes the reason we got it at all. by all means i know the kids deserve the money, but i dont see why if you get cheated on or they flee the state with the child or he isnt on the birth certificate should he have to pay money he doesnt have. before we had our baby we lived in a van tht the police took because child support suspended his licence, then we were doing ok and lived in a motel where they took almost all of his paycheck so we ended up in a tent. but they dont care about the welfare of the father, just kids even though he doesnt get any contact with them. it just makes me so mad that a father with no rights to his children has to pay a woman who uses the money on shoes and clothes for herself while she has another man paying for the house and food and things for the kids. why cant child support take that in mind?
Im sorry, but they give dead beat parents ever chance to pay their child support. First off, they dont just suspend your drivers licence. They give you a 90 days notice to start paying or set up a plan to start paying before they do this and in IL where I live, they will only do this if you owe over $5000 in arrears. If you go to jail for not paying your child support, its because your doing just that. NOT PAYING YOUR CHILD SUPPORT!!! My ex is 8,000 in arrears and nothing happens to him. So no, I have no remorse for any parent that does not pay their child support. The other parent is not taking care of the child so its not like they have to worry about how they are going to work around their childs schedule. I hope my ex sits in jail one of these days. Must be nice being able to drive around in your fancy cars, keep a roof over your head, make sure your able to eat and wear nice clothes, while your child is wearing hand me downs. Every day is a struggle for me just to pay my bills and even get those little neccesitites like tooth paste, tp, and shampoo. I’ve even given my ex the chance to sign over his rights and we would still give him visitation for my sons sake. He didnt want to do that. So, if you want to be a parent, that mean taking the financial responsibility for your child too! Dont whine about it. Just pay it up and have it garnished from your paycheck and you’ll never even have to worry about it. My fiances best friend owed $13,000 in the state of California. Yea, they take his tax returns, but you know what? Now he’s almost all paid up and its better than sitting in jail. Its doesnt matter if your the mom or dad that owes child support cuz there are many dead beat moms out there too. Take care of you kids for God sake. Its really not that hard when all you have to do is pay child support. Its not like your the ones who have to take the kids to the doctor, get them up and ready for school in the a.m., make their meals, help with homework ect. You all have it easy!!!! You arent getting any remorse from me….sorry.
when i was with my ex i supported her and the kids while she went to college, i started school later after getting financing in order. as soon as she graduated with a masters degree. she left me for a man she was cheating on me with. took my kids home car, every thing but cloths on my back. then while i was still finishing off my bachelors degree she filed support papers. they started me out over 3 thousand in arears and immediately pulled my drivers license, i graduated a few months later to find out that they also pulled my elligability to teach as i am no longer elligable for any state licencing at all. I had no job uppon graduating school yet my support order was set for 500 dollars a month. after applying to over 75 places of employment and not finding work (I graduated in 2008 just as recession hit). I asked for a reduction as i had no income and my student status prior to graduation made me ineligable for unemployment insurance. The judge refused. She asked the judge to jail me due to a “willful” violation.
I went to jail. I eventually found work and in the past year paid 500 a month plus made payments of about 6 thousand dollars of arears. I still have no license and support refuses to reinstate my license or allow for state weilding or teaching license. between my support, 80 dollars a week to provide insurance on the kids and the money i pay toward arears, I am left with 200 dollars a week to survive on. Because i have no license I have to pay 150 dollars a week to take taxi cabs to and from work. leaving me fifty dollars a week to live on. I sleep on a friends couch and eat raman noodles.
my student loans do not get paid (still wondering where they will garnish that from), and i have to bum rides from people to see my children as she lives fifty miles from me, and refuss to drive them. she on the other hand has bragged to the court that she osnt need my money, (its the principle, and the law states she is entitled) she makes over a hundred grand a year as she has opened her own practice as a thearipist. and worksfor the state as well. all with the degree i supported her through. All i am told is dont get upset, and how this is right. well NO it is NOT right. i never cheated on her, i never beat her, i didnt drink didnt do drugs, worked to put her through school. she cheated, she left me, why than does she automatically get my kids my home and all my belongings and then is given the power to ruin my life for years later?
I wasnever even given the option to pay as all the license and seziure stuff happened the same week as the order was printed. i have been told by the lawyers that it dosnt matter cause fathers dont want their kids anyway. When i graduated in 2008 i had 3 schools offering me scholarships for my masters degree, as well as fellowships (my degree was definately nothing to do with spelling or grammer), i passed them up to stay and fight for my children. Now i am honestly considering resigning my life to either welfare or disability. I simply cannot afford to live by working anymore. My biggest regret through all of this is that prior to school i served in the millitary.
The idea that i fought for my country and freedom only to see my entire life destroyed with the full backing of the courts for being guilty of nothing more than trying to build a life with a woman who turned out to be unfaithfull sickens me. I hate this country, I hate the villionization of men in this country and the fact that a man is nothing more than a paycheck and a second hand citizen in this country. I have no faith in the courts or the laws. Ihave been accused of things, and been found guilty simply on her word. I was accused of beating on her during an encounter to pick up the kids one day, unbeknownst to her i had recorded the entire event and brought the tapes into court. i was reprimanded for taping the events, and even though the court saw that nothing had happened on the tapes they ordered a order of protection against me. because she said it happened.
i tried to keep up on the kids school work and such and have teachers who wont even speack to me beause she has already told them that i beat the kids. i am so utterly sick of living worse than a convicted fellon, when i have never committed a single crime. so sick of every ounce of sympothy pouring out to these little defenceless innocent women, while countless guys are atching their lives get flushed down the toilet and then being branded the villian for their troubles. talk about insult ontop of injury! I have honestly thought of leaving this country and renouncing my citizenship. than i found out you could only do this from outside the US and im not elligable for a passport to leave, lol.
Something has to be done, we have a backward system. They make me pay child support then when I get behind they take my driver’s license. So now I can’t get to work so I lose my job. Then I go to jail for failure to pay because I’m not making any money. Next i’m told I may have to get a job before i’m released. This sounds crazy and if they can find me a job then why don’t they find jobs for those with arrears Instead of turning average Americans into criminals. In jail i’m no good to my children, i’m actually negatively impacting them, now daddy’s a bad guy in a cage where they image killers and bank robbers. This will in turn affect their psychological development, they may blame themselves for my incarceration since the reason i’m in here is failure to pay money for them. On top of everything I can’t be a role model from behind bars, I love my kids!
Fed up,
There’s not much you can do. We have a legal system that encourages women to leave men, take their children away from them, and cash him out for all he’s worth. Welcome to America.
Just another joke along with some many others in this land you love.
There are only two recourses.
You can get your hands on a large shipment of money and drag her mother and her through court and fight to be with those children.
Or you can ignore the fact that you have children.
I’ve seen these dramas play out in my own family and often think the latter would be better for all parties involved.
To each his own. Good luck.
Most importantly, you seem like a man who knows right from wrong (and you’ve got some experience under your belt now). I would continue to do what I felt was right. In the end it’s got to pay off.
Barry
I just received word that the sheriff is looking for me to serve me with court papers demanding my attendance. I’m not a deadbeat Dad, though some would probably say that I am. My ex’s mother has my firstborn twin daughters and has had since their birth. My ex told me she was 18 when I met her. Turned out she was 17 (I was just 20). I found out only after she became pregnant with the twins. I loved her with all my heart and worked very hard to carve out the beginnings of our new life. I even worked multiple jobs to make ends meet. I am a poor man with honest values. Her mother is wealthy, powerful and worst of all vindictive! When I did not measure up to or agree to her standards and abusive nature, she began to hate me. She sat me down (with my ex) and tried to talk us into getting an abortion. I do not believe in abortion and would not agree to, nor did my ex. As soon as the children were born, her mother insisted that my ex and the children return to her home. I pleaded with my ex not to do so as she would be considered a legally emancipated minor and did not have to. I did not want further problems with her. I had witnessed her on several occasions being verbally and physically abusive toward my ex and her younger sister. This troubled me greatly, and still does since shortly after my ex moved in, the mother moved in on my daughters and began proceedings to take them away from us. Since they hadn’t returned to my place of residence upon their birth, and I did not know how to make this forceably happen, there wasn’t much I could do about it. Not to mention the financial inequality between a young construction worker and a wealthy, power hungry, manipulator. I was no match for her money or her outrageous lies! She even kicked her daughter to the curb, ready to start fresh with my children as what she would later tell people were “her children, that she bore”! We tried very hard to meet the courts demands including paying supervisors for court ordered supervised visitation that ran about $60/hr on top of what we were already struggling to scrape up to pay legal advisors/paralegals! Ultimately, she was granted legal guardianship and it didn’t take long before my hopes to simply live and father my children like normal people began to subside. Soon thereafter, I was served with the first set of child support papers forcing me to attend court to receive my “reaming”. Notice, I didn’t say “we” were served with court papers! Wouldn’t you think that she would be just as responsible for paying support to the children as me? Guess not. Since she is on Disability/SSI, she is not obligated to pay anything. There is nothing wrong with her, even she herself will tell you so. She gets it because she is bi-polar (this is true, but doesn’t stop her from working). She is allowed to receive between $600-$800 per month as well as being allowed to work up to 30 hours a week, but she doesn’t have to pay a dime! Anyways, years went by and I constantly contested the huge loaf of bologna I was being forced to swallow. No one would help us. Especially the stupid “family law facilitator” most government officials would direct us to. Eventually, my ex and I had two more children. A girl…then a boy….then I took the initiative to get fixed (she wouldn’t do it)… then another boy – how’d that happen? Vasectomies take a full year to heal and begin working. Who knew? Anyways, the last was was still an infant when she (my ex) began talking to her boyfriend in NC (I’m in CA) and arranging to run off to live with him. She drained our account of the measley few thousand dollars I had saved to put a down payment on a roach infested house there in NC for her and her new man who is ten years my senior to live in with my children. Then, one day, she told me of her plans to buy this house in NC and from there I began to figure out more a less what was going on. I was devastated and again did not know what to do or who to turn to. I have no family with money and even less with brains, so I literally had nobody to consult for any kind of real help. What was I to do? All I could think of was to try and get her to sign a contract that I had handwritten, agreeing to an equal %50 split custody of the children. This sparked an argument that turned into her becoming insane and violent with me. I called the police. She pulled the phone out of the wall. They arrived and because she is pretty, as well as manipulative and convincing (like her mother), they took me to jail based on her outrageous lies! Unbelievable! This is right about where I lost ALL faith in the justice system. I’m just a country boy who wanted to have a simple life and raise a family. Now, I have not been allowed to see any of my children for a very long time. My ex’s mother still lives here in the same county in CA as I do. My ex has moved from NC to SC to FL to OK and most recently back to FL. All within the last 7 years. Not to mention moves within each state. My children are in what is the epitome of an unstable household and the step-dad is an alcoholic! I am completely devastated and constantly depressed. I try to pick myself up off the floor and make the kind of money it would take for me to fight for them, but if I get a good job, then a raise, child support wants more of my money….to pay my ex’s mother for raping me of my children. While she lives in a huge ranch home and my daughters have horses and other lavish luxuries, I am just getting by, wishing I could be a part of their lives. I would set up some sort of visitation, but I know it would be mandated as supervised and cost me at least $60/hr again! Aside from that, she draws no lines for her false accusations and I fear lies that would be far more damning to me than just leaving the hornet’s nest alone. It sucks, a lot! Recently, after not even seeing the three that are with my ex in nearly 5 years, we went to see them in OK for Christmas. My new fiance and I were going to be there for ten days and I so looked forward to building a relationship with my children whom she had just began allowing me phone visitation with in the months prior. Everything was fine for the first couple days, as I was surrounded by family of mine who reside there in OK. A few days in, we had arranged to take all of the children out and were to be allowed to then take them to stay with us at my sister’s home. Upon her arrival, my ex promptly informed me that my oldest (of the three that reside with her) daughter Violet, had “disrespected her” on the way over and so was being punished and not allowed to go with us. She was visibly heartbroken and I was infuriated, but remained calm and said “No, Violet can come”. That was it. We were in my parents home surrounded by my kin and everyone laid into her (verbally ONLY). It was, after all completely ridiculous, right? Anyways, needless to say, everything spiraled out of control and she left with all three of the children and I was again in the same boat I had been in! Wound up in court on Christmas vacation dealing with more lies, an Emergency Protective Order against me, and watching her put on the most dramatic show of crap I’ve ever seen. The judge at it up. He believed everything she said. Total bologna. All I want is a relationship with my children. I want to spend as much time as I can with them while they are still young. Another 10 years and they will all be grown up! She fled the state and went back to FL. I am still at a loss for the money and/or know how to safely gain a relationship with my children without winding up in jail. Sadly, that is where I will ultimately wind up anyway as a result of BS child support. Why, you ask. Because I absolutely refuse to give even one more red penny to pay for the abduction of my children. I’m being raped repeatedly and then being told to pay for it! I won’t do it! Not anymore. If they want to take a good man to jail or even prison for standing up for what is right, then that is what I guess they will have to do. The only thing I am guilty of is being young and dumb (not so much anymore, of course. I’m now 32 and I see things pretty clearly). Who says a man can’t get raped? I was raped by a woman AND her mother!!! Yeah, you could say I’m a little fed up! Future plans include joining a militia to in the hope of regaining some level of justice and equality to the citizens of this God forsaken country that I love! The government is out of control and it’s court system is a heinous monster devouring the poor while the rich skate. BS. Completely and utterly. “DON’T TREAD ON ME”. Yeah, I’m mad as hell. What else can I do? I feel so helpless! This is definitely NOT JUSTICE!
OK if I wasn’t taking care of my children, DHS would come and take them from me and probably throw me in jail. So if ALL you have to do is pay child support then why shouldn’t the absent parent be held responsible too. It’s not like they are actually making the absent parent be a parent or anything. I can’t get DHS to do anything either. I sometimes wonder what they actually do all day because I don’t know anyone who has accomplished anything through them.
I have two kids by the same man, my kids are 13 and 14 years old, they father never paid child support..
He continue to have kids now he has at least 10 of them. Yea its hard to find a job and the economic is doing bad but should I feel any remoist for him? When will my day come in court? Damn can I get any help!!
I am so behind on two supports I have been layed off so many times its crazy I feel horrible and should but I cant get a break Now Im worring so much about jail and dont even get to see my kids
the system is a screwed up one… my ex wife who married the day after our divorce illegally is living a lush life married to her new army man.. im ex army she has a new car they live in a big house and got money to spare but yet i have to pay child support for a kid who i can’t afford to see because im out of state .. along with that she is moving to hawaii which ends that pretty much for all of it .. yet while they live great i get by check to check supporting myself and paying child support oh.. and even better when you switch jobs or get promoted and start making more you start paying more.. where is the line that gets cut and says this sh*t is overboard
Well when someone gets more then 16000 behind because they are just a lazy bum then they should go to jail. If they can make them then they should pay for them. some one like J D jr. who lives with his mom and does not care because he says its the girls fault should be put away. He missed his court date and is just hiding out because he has 2 warrants out on him. also why does no one come looking for him. he is always home playing videos
States here in the U.S. want to get fathers in court as soon as possible due to federal funds that are distributed due to the states ‘needs’. It’s become an out of control government bureaucratic nightmare. In the U.S… there is every incentive for a woman to leave her husband, take the children, and basically do her best to make her ex-husband a criminal. The county Child Support enforcement officer is all to glad to put a man in jail. This is not a legal arrangement the man (or woman) entered into voluntarily. This is a debt prison forced onto the non-custodial parent. I personally have a problem with this system. The truth is that there are far too many people (lawyers/bureaucrats) making a killing in profits/wages from the system. And of course it’s the lawyers in our states capitols which write our legislation.
Ha… I guess I’m just old fashioned. I say let the courts sort it out… keep the government out of it.
Barry
I think prison time is a hard core punishment especially in this economic times were ever one is losing there jobs its not like your its stuff like that that makes people rob and get into more trouble cuz there scared but I meant our government dosent care about us that have a hard time getting jobs trying to make it in this flimsy life all we could do is live and hope for the best we don’t all have rich parents to pay for everything I have a son and I’m behind but I’m trying my best I just don’t get why the gov. Would spend all these nice peoples tax dollars to put us in jail instead of using it too help us out I mean it only seems logical but oh well like always our voices will remain silent and or gov. Trampeling over us putting lower class society to the like yesterdays lunch just my toughts on that