Socio-Economics of Bulldog Ownership
1. Why is it that often when you see one Pitt Bulldog, you will normally find more throughout the neighborhood?
Top Answer: We don’t know what Billy Bob is afraid of that made him get that dog. So just to be safe we figured we better get one too.
2. Aren’t those large Bulldogs expensive to maintain?
Top Answer: We try and be discreet around here about our high level of intelligence and prosperity. So we keep a bulldog instead of getting one of those fancy electronic alarms. Besides out here you never know when the phone and power will be out.
3. Why do you chain your Bulldog with unusually large chains?
Top Answer: We like to test the chains before we use them. If it survives a month with Killer on the end of it, we know it’ll be great for pulling the motor out of our 67 Charger, and it comes in handy when we’re stealing scrap metal off our neighbors property.
4. What about small children, aren’t you afraid they’ll be attacked?
Top Answer: We normally lose a littlun about every couple of years, but there’s plenty more still running around. Heck that’s a small price to pay for owning one of God’s finest four legged animals. Plus I can charge more to breed him if he’s got a snuff or two under his belt.
5. Why do your Pitt Bulldogs always seem so angry?
Top Answer: Well that’s a little secret, we’re not gonna be able to tell you about that. (A bewitching smile comes across his face)…. interesting
6. What type of activities do you do with your Pitt Bull?
Top Answer: Nothing. We just keep his ass tied to that tree.
7. Have you ever turned your Bulldog lose one anyone?
Top Answer: Hell yes. Sometimes we let him attack the mail man, just so we can laugh. The other day my sister brought home some fella that had all of his teeth…. so you know we turned him out on that loser. And a few times the cops showed up bothering us about crystal meth manufacturing. Somehow Killer got lose then too. (Another bewitching smile)…
8. What do you normally feed your Pitt Bulldog?
Top Answer: Just whatever we got left over from supper. You know like coon, possum, and if he’s lucky some soft shell turtle.
9. Is that why your Bulldog is so skinny?
Top Answer: Nope, actually he’s addicted to crystal meth.
10. What do you do with your Pitt Bulls when they die?
Top Answer: After making one of the littluns eat the heart (a ceremony symbolizing the youth’s entrance into manhood), we normally throw the body in front of the mail man’s truck to try and threaten the post office into writing us a check.
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