Comments on: A Father’s Views on Child Support Law

By: Keith Stoneberger

Keith Stoneberger — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:59:34 +0000

I have now found myself in the boat as most NCP. Before, I used to keep up my payments no problem and I never could figure out why noone else could. I made sure that was the first payment out of my paycheck. I was in an automobile accident in 1998 and was out of work for 8 months and I did not want the support to be lowered because I thought my daughters really needed it. I had enough saved up that I could do that. From time to time, I have tried to get shared custody because I wanted the children. I thought it was pointless anyway to finance my ex wife to sit on her butt. She worked for about 8 months, just before the divorce was final till the accident. She only did that because the her lawyer told her that more than likely she would lose custody if the divorce decree went before him and she did not have a job. So she has to show she was able to make a home with work. Fortunally, our divorce decree incorporated an agreement. Eventually I married again to a woman who brought in 5 kids. Her ex husband has never paid a lick of child support. So I ended up supporting two families. My ex had remarried also and has two more children by him. She had me in court and had my support raised because her and her husband were having trouble making ends meet. I was astonished when she told the court that her husband was not working and was having difficulty finding work and his kids were sufferring. Without question as to my situation, the support was raised. I objected that it is not up to me to take care of his kids also and if she cannot take care of my children with what she gets now, then I ask for custody. I was denied and I was to take care of my own first. Fast foward a few years and the injuries I recieved from the accident had finally caught up with me. I lost me job in 2008 because I need a total hip replacement. Until August of 2010, my support has been kept up. In March 2011, I was in jail for 7 days because I do not have a job to pay the support. I had proof that I been “pounding the pavement” since 2008 looking for work. My injuries are severe enough that I qualify for for rehab services. The court did not wanna see it. My wife and my mom came up with the money. Now my mom is more in debt because of this and I still owe her. This Tues, I am looking at the same thing. I even have the job searches. I am still using the rehab services to get a career change. But it is right, it is only about the money.

By: robert

robert — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 05:01:12 +0000

I am currently going through the very same incident that the gentleman wrote about above ….. child support and the rules that come along with it….. allow a quick explanation that i am currently experiencing ….. divorced 15 yrs ago …. i agreed to having my kids every other weekend, and 2 days a week…… paying 200 per week for child support…. so for years i paid the child support and shared the children, and for the most part it worked out fine, i of course had to work on saturdays to make enough money to pay my bills as well as the child support, which takes time away from the kids …. I coached my daughters team, and my sons team, took them camping , day trips, bike rides, a cruise, shared as much free time as i could with them…. well, one day i told the kids wouldnt it be nice if you guys could stay with dad for the summers and mom could have you every other weekend and twice a week, i of course wouldnt pay child support during those 2 months, and the kids loved the idea, the idea would have created a closer bond with my children, and i would feel what it feels like to have my kids all the time like mom gets to feel…. well, let me tell you, her answer to that idea was a flat out ” NO ” and if i wanted that badly enough i was to take her back to court….. meaning she was going to fight it ! ….. everything changed from that day on…. i have always paid my child support, and played by the book….. and she wanted me to take her back to court and fight…. more than likely bring the kids to court….. the following week the kids were all upset, and said that mom is really mad and that the idea was not a good idea after all….. this crushed me ! ….. and i immediatly stopped paying child support, and started spending that money directly on the kids instead of sending it to the mom…. then all of a sudden the economy tanked, and i wasnt making any money… all of a sudden i was really behind on child support….. but my attitude was screw her ! … well she took me to court, got a lawyer and twice sent out a warrent for my arrest !! …. my anger towards her flourished, and the wedge began between my children and myself … today my kids dont want anything to do with me… i am the bad guy now ! and she is the hero,….. what i have learned is the system is corrupt…. child support should be illiminated is right ! …. but the time with the children should be split even time each week…… no money involved at all !! This should be a law !! Now i know there are exceptions to this idea, but for most of us , we can make this work between the ex, the kids, and so on…. for the exs who were married to abusers, well then you would have a different rule… but for the majority of the normal divorces this idea would work… and will never split up a dad and his children !! May this not ever happen to another dad again …. it already has happened to far to many

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:31:35 +0000

As a minister, an ordained minister, I want to give a big hand clap to those of you who realize the sanctity of marriage. I too disagree with the idea of child support for a woman who willingly bears a child out of wed lock. This is not just an abomination in Christian society, but in the Buddist, Jewish, Muslim…… No up standing religious organization on the planet supports this. There is always the argument that a man “should not have gotten her pregnant”. As a woman, you set the standard and should not allow yourself to be impregnated! Afterall, the national average cost for a marriage liscense is $ 25.00. Child birth is life threatening. If you are stupid enough to risk you life in child birth for a man that does not think you are worth trhe $25.00 investment to marry you and cover that baby (spiritually) with the privelege of marriage, then you deserve to suffer. You deserve to be penniless and the detriment of that baby should rest on your shoulders alone. After all, if you and I went and test drove a Porche…… and I deceided that I wanted it……. the dealership would not allow me to have it, and then make you pay for it…..just because you are the one who could afford it….. and you took the test drive with me! They would consider that you did not apply for the car! They would take into account that I cannot afford the car! This is the same difference with child support. If you the woman are making a decision with your body that your wallet cannot support, you should not be allowed to keep posession of the child. The child should be given to the father, and if he does not want it, to the state. After all, when the state takes children from the mother, she is not asked to pay child support to the Foster parents! I think that if you are allowed choices, then men, where there was no privelege of marriage, should be allowed to walk away. Bastard children are not on the same level as covenant children. If you don’t agree, read Genesis 21 and 22. Abraham had a bastard child named Ishmael. His presensce began to cause problems in the marriage. God told Abraham not to be saddened about the bondage woman (Haggar the baby mama) and his Seed (Ishmael) but instead to drop them off in the desert and he would take care of them.! He later commends Abraham for his willingness to sacrifice his ONLY son Isaac on the mountain. what is the difference between Ishmael and Isaac? They were both sons of Abraham. Still God did not refer to Ishmael as a Son but as a seed! God must uphold the order that he himself instituted. If he gave the same status to Ishmael that he gave Isaac, he would then spit on the institution of marriage himself. Membership has its privaleges. In short, the ineterest of children hasno bearing on the sanctity of marriage. What God put together let o man put assunder. Placing this obligation on an act of abomination puts marriage assunder. And the women who take part in this are cursed. Statistics show that they are less likely to marry, and the free money child support they recieve is not landing them on Wall street!
Strange huh!
I say there should be NO child support forced upon a father of out-of -wed lock children. This will teach women to have standards and protect the interest of their children.
If you were a husband, then you better stick with those children and find a way to keep the family together.